Heine's Hiney
by Reiven
Summary: Slash. During a eulogy to commemorate the passing of Heine, the pilots of the Minerva discover a deep, dark secret they never knew about themselves Part Five: Pedophile Dullindal
1. Shinn POV: Asses Everywhere

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gundam SEED Destiny. I only own Rey's fuchia boa.

**Summary**: During a eulogy to commemorate the passing of Heine, the pilots of the Minerva discover a deep, dark secret they never knew about themselves.

This is my first time writing first person POV's. One POV will be per chapter and will contain innuendo of AsuHeine, ShinnHeine, ReyHeine, LunaHeine, crack pairing: KiraHeine and first ever written pair, HeineHeine.

**Heine's Hiney.**

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_Shinn POV  
Asses Everywhere._

Err … well … my name is Shinn Asuka. I pilot the Impulse Gundam on the Minerva, not as if that's of any relevance anyway; I'm actually supposed to say a few things about Heine since this is something like a eulogy for him, or that's what Vino tells me. I really should know better than to listen to Vino. The last time I did, I ended up butt naked in gay bar somewhere on Aprilius, but that's getting too far beside the point. Rey did look hot in a fuchsia boa, though.

Heine … ne? Heine … Heine … well, let's see; I didn't really know all that much about him. I do know that he was in the Hawking's team during the battle at Jachin Due, that's what he told Athrun. Tch, why am I not surprised? Everyone tells Athrun everything just for the reason that he's Athrun Zala, hero. Eugh. He makes me sick. I mean, here I am, working my ass off, not to mention, saving the Minerva numerous times in battle, and yet, everyone's always like, 'ooh, Athrun. Ooh, he's so great. Ooh, he's so talented. Ooh, Athrun wears a plum coloured suit but is still cool even though purple makes his ass look twice its size.

…

Did I just say that?

Jesus hell. I did! I've been checking out Athrun's ass without realising it. Luna is going to have a hell of a field day if she ever finds out. Shit! I need to go and look at Mayu's phone now.

Okay, I'm back.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Heine; almost forgot - I feel so much calmer when I'm holding Mayu's phone. It's a very attractive shade of pink – anyway, he's okay. I thought he was a bit talkative at first, but when you hang around Rey for as long as I have, you tend to find a rock talkative. Nevertheless, Heine is, or rather, was a nice guy. He looks very nice in the Elite uniform too, much better than Athrun anyway. I've heard Athrun and perfect little Miss Orb talk about this guy Yzak a few times (as in Yzak Jule; Commander Jule?) and from what I gather, he hates Athrun as well. I would very much like to meet him one day.

Sorry for getting off the topic, but I lost my sister in the war, I'm entitled to be confused and enraged. Speaking of confused, I ran into Youlan last night, and … well, Youlan is _good_. I have to _hand_ it to him. No one can _stroke_ the matter with as much passion as he did, I think him and Vino get a lot of practice.

But getting back to Heine. He was a good guy. He even managed to get the upper hand on Mr. Perfect, Athrun. His GOUF was dead sexy as well, but hell, the whole package was F. I. N. E. I also really liked his hair; I wonder what he used to make it stay that way? Now that I think about it, Heine's got one sexy behind to match. It's all round and firm. I'm not the only one who thinks so too. I swear I saw Rey make a pass for it (I glare at you for that, Rey) while they were headed out towards the hanger and Athrun's been staring at it non-stop since the first time they met. It's such a shame, really. It's all Gaia and Freedom's fault! If he hadn't interfered, Heine's ass would still be available. Damn, I hate him so much.

In due time, I will be the strongest pilot ZAFT has ever seen, and then I'll show Athrun and Gladys-kanchou and that Freedom pilot. I will be the best! The best! Now if you excuse me, I have to go and play with Mayu's phone a little more before bed, maybe get a chance to play with something else too. I hope Rey's free. It's always more fun to have two _heads_ instead of one :D

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**End Shinn.**

Yes, short and somewhat retarded :D Next chapter will be Luna.

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	2. Luna POV: Gossip Folk

**Disclaimer**: Don't own.

**Heine's Hiney.**

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_Luna POV  
__Gossip Folk._

My name is Lunamaria Hawke. I pilot the ZAKU Warrior on the Minerva. I'm here today to talk about our dear friend and comrade, Heine Westenfluss who was lost tragically in battle. I didn't really know him too well, but he was a very nice … very cute … very gay … guy. I remember the first time we met; it was just after I found out that Athrun's been having a hot and steamy night with Lacus Clyne. The nerve of that guy! It was totally unorthodox and not at all proper for a soldier of his stature to be doing those – cough – whatever he was do to her. What if it was the Chairman who had found them?

Who am I kidding? The Chairman wouldn't do anything to Athrun, not matter what kind of criminal act he's committed. Athrun's always loved by all. Not to mention the nerve of that _woman_, hanging onto him like she owns him. Sure, she's his fiancé and all, but that still doesn't give her the right to smother him, or sleep in his bed. She is an idol, a role model to girls everywhere. What will they think when they find out that their so-called 'idol' has been playing whore to Athrun's pimping?

So what if she is '_Lacus Clyne'_? So what if she does have the biggest, bounciest tits in ZAFT (is it just me, or has her breasts gotten bigger since the last time she was on TV?) Somebody's got a secret :D

I think I miss Heine suddenly. Although it was for a short time, gossiping with him was fun! Did you know that Yzak Jule – as in Commander Jule of the Voltaire – is shagging one of his subordinates? Or should I say, submissive-ordinates? Damn, Heine, why did you have to go so soon? You didn't even have the chance to tell me what you saw when you passed by the meeting room.

Anyway, where was I again? Oh yeah, Heine. I loved Heine, he was funny, smart, and witty … and he had the sexiest butt. Really, I'm not kidding! Just ask any of the guys. I know for sure Shinn's been gunning for him, Rey … I'm not really sure about Rey though. I mean, he shares a dorm with Shinn, and Shinn's one of the biggest pervert I've seen, ever, even bigger than Athrun. Just last night I saw Shinn sneaking up on Youlan; unfortunately, Gladys-kanchou chose that exact time to call me to her office. But now he has this particularly scandalized look on his face whenever Shinn's around. Now that I think about it, why do you think his Mobile Suit is called Impulse? Look up Impulse and you'll find its definition of words to be _desire_, _urge_ … _itch._

Itchy, _echi_ … geddit? No? Nevermind. Anyway, Shinn also has this thing with his sister's phone, but I won't get into that right now (we've got to keep the innocent, innocent) But Rey, with what kind of inner power he possesses, is like completely immune to Shinn's perversion.

I think I have some suspicions about Rey and Chairman Dullindal now. I went to look for Shinn a few days ago (after finding out that Athrun's a completely wank!) and Rey's diary was laying open on the bed. I didn't want to read it, really, I didn't, but it was just too tempting! So like what any other self-respecting girl would do, I surrendered to the urge. I wish I hadn't now, because I kind off … err … how do I put this? I kind off … found a naked picture of Chairman Dullindal inside. That just leaves me in awkward position at this moment … though; I bet it's not as awkward as some of the positions Commander Jule gets into :D

Shit, Heine! I want to know what happened in that meeting room!

Maybe I could ask Athrun, they were in the same team at one point in time. At least I would, if I was talking to him now. Stupid Athrun.

I hate him so much. I hate the way he acts. I hate the way he walks and the way his hair billows in the wind. I hate his perfect aim when it comes to shooting. I hate his flawless skin (I wonder what kind of moisturiser he uses?) I hate his silky soft hair. I hate him … but I want him, so badly! Why, oh why?

Heine, why did you and your perfect little ass have to go so soon? This is one of the times I think I need a girlfriend to talk to. Maybe I should blow myself up too, and then I'll finally get to find out what Commander Jule did in that meeting room.

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**End Luna.**

If I'm not mistaken, echi means pervert :D

By the way, I forgot to mention that next POV will be Rey's :D Thanks to the reviewers who reminded me.

Review Crack.


	3. Rey POV: Lolita Complex

**Disclaimer**: Don't own.

If you like Rey, be warned that I've successfully turned him into a big pervert.

**Heine's Hiney.**

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Rey POV.  
_Lolita Complex._

… Heine was nice … Gil is nice, so that's not much of a compliment to give someone. I don't really know what I'm supposed to say about Heine, I knew him for about ten seconds on average. I actually didn't even want to do this in the first place, but Shinn told me that Gil would be doing this too. Damn you, Shinn. He always gets me that way. Really, are my infatuation and I really that obvious? Sure, I sparkle and look up at him with admiration in my eyes, but what's to say that it isn't just that, admiration?

Speaking of Gil, I wonder what else he's doing, and with whom? I hope it's not with that two bit whore Athrun. I think I have more things I'd rather say to Athrun than about Heine - ah, oh yes. One thing I can say is that Heine had an ass like you wouldn't believe. I know it's shallow and insulting to judge a person by the size of his butt or the size of his basket (which Gil completely rules, by the way) but sometimes, it just can't be helped. Take Athrun for example. Doesn't he notice that purple does not compliment you in the buns department? I think Shinn's noticed. I think Shinn's wondering why he's thinking of Athrun's ass. I also think Shinn's wondering whether I would like to play pin the tail on the donkey's ass with him tonight. And how do I know this? I call it the tingle of the Newtype senses, but you can just say that Shinn's easier to read than a book's cover.

Honestly, that boy's always going around, brooding and mourning but it's obvious that he has sex on the mind twenty-four seven. Just last night I saw him pulling a quick one on Youlan; doesn't he know that Vino would kill him if he finds out? I suspect it's just to get back at him for that stunt he pulled on Aprilius. I have to admit; watching Shinn being smothered by a couple of leather daddy's was quite funny.

Speaking of leather daddy's, I wonder if Gil's new whip has already arrived?

Getting off the subject for a moment, Lunamaria's been staring at me strangely since these past few days. I'm not sure why, but whenever I turn to look at her, she's always blushing and looking away embarrassed. I suspect it has something to do with the picture of Gil that I found in page thirty-four; it should have been in page thirty-six. The nerve of that girl. As if she doesn't peep into Athrun's room in the dead of the night, trying to catch a glimpse of his nude ass I assume. Though, I can't help but notice that Athrun's butt at a certain angle looks bigger than even Meyrin's.

Really.

Since I'm talking about Lunamaria, I might as well get on the subject of Meyrin as well. That little girl thinks I don't notice that she blatantly copied my hairstyle, the nerve of her. I ought to ask Gil to reprimand her. After all, it was Gil who wanted me to keep my hair long. I've always fancied a buzz cut, honestly, but Gil says that long hair makes me look sexier, and who am I to go against what he says? After all, Gil knows all. Except for when he reinstated Athrun and invited him to join FAITH. I will always wonder why he did that.

No, I won't actually. I know that Gil finds him attractive. I have to admit, even if I don't like Athrun all that much, I can't deny that he is indeed beautiful. Shinn agrees too. Shinn also thinks that he doesn't get some of the recognition he deserves because other people think Athrun is very beautiful too. Shinn has also developed a grudge against the pilot of Freedom - don't tell him I mentioned this, but I found Freedom to be a very sexy Gundam :D I'm sure the pilot is very sexy as well. Now that I think about it, I heard Gil mention that Athrun was having a relationship with the pilot of Freedom during the war. What about the representative, I wonder?

Speaking of relationships, I passed by the ships meeting room a few days ago, before Heine died, and heard him talking with Lunamaria about Commander Jule and his man-slave. I wonder if they would like to couple with Gil and I next time:D

I should end this right now and go find Shinn; I think he's currently wondering why the dorm's holding a particularly leathery smell. The truth is, I ran across this website the other day, and had a pretty interesting chat with someone called _Athrunbackwards _(I would be lying if I said that it wasn't the name that got may attention)who knows quite a lot about leather, straps and buckles. You could call it … experimentation :D

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**End Rey.**

Yzak was banging Dearka; I'm not a big fan of hetero-pairings, besides, I don't really care for Shiho, I only found out who she was lately o.O;

Next up will be the poor victim of everyone's shunning, **Athrun**.


	4. Athrun POV: So the Drama

**Disclaimer**: Don't own.

In case you're wondering, Athrun is one of my favourite characters in Gundam SEED along with Yzak. I just like making him suffer a bit :D Also, someone asked whom Yzak was shagging? It's answered in this chapter.

**Heine's Hiney.**

_Athrun POV._

_So The Drama._

This year had been tough … extremely. I thought that the war two years ago was tough, but now I realize just how wrong I was. Oh yes, if you didn't already know, my name is Athrun Zala, identification code 285002. I currently pilot Saviour, or more specifically, what's left of Saviour. You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that the big writers in the sky had decided that I'm not supposed to have a Gundam. First it was Aegis, then Justice and now Saviour; what are they going to do next? Give me a golf cart and make me crash it into a crocodile infested pond?

I actually wouldn't be all that surprised, I mean, I haven't exactly been exceptionally lucky lately, nor anyone around me it seems. Let's have a recap: first it was Rusty, then it was Miguel, then Nicol and Kira - but not - and now … Heine. And the one thing they all had in common … they all had some piece of ass, especially Heine. I'm not trying to say anything by it though, Shinn and Rey are both okay … as is all the other people in the Minerva. Speaking of which, I've had a very particular feeling that everyone's been staring at my ass quite a lot, especially Shinn, Rey and Lunamaria. Sometimes I wish I could read minds, it would have proven to be a highly valued asset when father had another of his mid-life crisis … at least that's what Kira called it. I can't help but agree with him. Normal people would just get a bike and relive their youth when they reach that age, but father … no … he has to go and start a war.

… I hope it's not genetic …

Mental note to self: talk this over with Kira and make sure that if I show any signs of turning out to be a psycho with a big gun fetish, give him permission to strangle me in my sleep.

One second thought, this conversation should been with Yzak. I'm sure he'd be glad to do it. He'd probably throw a celebration party afterwards. Speaking of Yzak: there have been rumours floating around the ship about a Commander Jule shagging one of his subordinates - after I take a little time out to let the words '_Commander Jule'_ really roll of my tongue - I just have to say that it's about time. Even since military school, you could feel the tension between them (not to mention the aura only possessed by people who's not getting any) seriously, people say that Kira and I are oblivious _clearly _haven't met Yzak and Dearka … or should I say Dearka and Yzak :D It's only proper seeing as Dearka's obviously a top, but don't tell Yzak I said that.

I suspect Luna's been hearing that rumour too. I also suspect that she wants to ask me questions about whether the rumours are true, but can't bring herself. She seems a bit mad at me; not exactly sure why, but I can't help but suspect that it because she found Meer in my room the other day. I seem to be suspecting a lot of things lately, but I can't help it, being around Rey makes me feel uncomfortable. I'd even go as far as to say that it's like standing along in the room with Captain Kleuze. I can't help but shudder every time I think about that. I wonder if Yzak would feel the same way.

Speaking of Yzak, again, I can't help but wonder whether Captain Kleuze ever made a move on him. They did spend a lot of time together after Dearka and I defected to the Archangel. Hmm ... now there's something to keep your mind occupied for a while. I always wondered what would prompt Yzak to walk up to Dearka and kiss the pants off him right after the cease-fire. I guess I should wonder no more.

I've also been feeling a little exiled since of late. I mean, Kira's off to the island to do _…_ whatever he likes to do with Lacus and a bunch of children around. Yzak's been promoted to Commander, Dearka's getting some and me? What have I got to show for years in torment and confusion? Nothing. That's what; a big fat zero. I end up a loser _…_ a has-been. Sure, I get a cool looking pair of shades and pretty snazzy set of wheels _…_ but all I really am is a bitch to Cagalli. Ever since I defected to Orb, I've practically lost all my fighting ability, I don't kick ass as much as I used to, and now Vino's starting to look at me funny and that freaks me out!

You know, I'm tired of being the good guy all the time. For once, I'd like to be able to shoot down a shuttle full of innocent civilians without the entire population of ZAFT and the world coming down on my ass like piranhas to a carcass. Yzak can get away with it, why can't I? Oh, yeah. I forgot. Because I'm Athrun Zala. Pushover. I can't even top Kira-err _… _did I just say that out-loud? What I mean is _…_ I'm tired of being pushed around by snotty little greenhorns that think just because they wear the red uniform, they can do whatever they want. I'm also tired of being dominated by a butch girl and her effeminate twin brother. Most of all, I'm tired of this person telling me that I've used up all of my speech quota! This story will not end, until I want it to end! Understood!

**End Athrun.**

Hope Athrun didn't sound _too _whacked out.


	5. Dullindal POV: Memoirs of a Paedophile

**Disclaimer**: Don't own.

**A/N**: I won't give any specific limit to the amount of chapters this story will have (I learned my lesson long ago) I'll just update according to what character POV my muse decides to flush out to me. But feel free to suggest any character you might like to have written and I'll try my best.

**Heine's Hiney.**

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Dullindal's POV.  
_Memoirs of a Paedophile._

Aah, the feel of young skin. The vibrancy of youth. The spunk possessed by the next generation rulers. I have decided that for my first non-official rule over PLANT is to have a Children's Day; one that would be filled with many joys, the pleasure able moments spent just watching, enjoying the feel of-ah ... err ... _cough_. Pardon me, I had not noticed your presence there. Now where was I? Oh yes.

I was just dwelling on the fond, fond memories that I will cherish for eternity, of the time I was graced enough to have spent with Heine Westenfluss under me-I mean my command. He was a good boy, always willing to go the extra mile please me; willing to obey my every command. Meer was quite fond of him as well, thought I doubt her liking was quite as massive as mine was. I would have to say that he was one of the most willing, the most beautiful and resilient person that I have ever had working below me-I mean my command.

Raww would have found him quite fascinating as well, I suspect. Though, I am not foolish enough not to have noticed his infatuation with Athrun Zala, and even Commander Jule. I can't help but reticence on the old times we had spent together, wooing, ogling and appreciating the beauty that is youth. Sometimes when I am alone, I can still feel his presence beside me, it is as if his spirit is still with me at times. I do miss him greatly.

It is quite hard to go on day by day without someone to talk with, share intimate talks that we could not share with outsiders ... perhaps, with the exception of Lacus Clyne's right hand man, Malchio. I can't help but envy him at times. Even that Natural, La Flaga, though he pains me to see his ignorance to the beauty that he's surrounded by day by day, perhaps death was his penance.

Heine's death was indeed tragic. Taken out because of his own mistake. I cannot put all the blame on him though, if it wasn't for Freedom, this would have never happened. Freedom is starting to be a thorn in my side that I must have removed soon before it becomes an infection. Athrun has also started to become somewhat questioning, but Shinn on the other hand (a fiery, fiery boy) seems to have developed quite an intense grudge against Freedom's pilot and that would perhaps work itself well into my plan.

Once the Destiny plan is put into motion, there will no longer be any ugly, plain and talent less people out there for they will all be perfect in every aspect, and even start to become ripe for the picking :D

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**End Dullindal.**

Well … I thought this was the weakest one by far. Can't help it, though, I lost inspiration half way though.

Review, nyaa.


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